Twittiquette

The following rules of Twitter etiquette need to be made law:

1. Tweets must be somewhat novel and interesting[1]
2. Follow people that you think have interesting tweets, not everyone who follows you.[2]
3. English grammar applies to tweets. Fragment sentences are okay, obviously
4. One URL per tweet, and it should be after the rest of the text
5. Drunk tweeting is not cool like drunk Facebook wall-posting is[3]
6. @ reply only once per topic. Direct messages are for conversations
7. Creating/following fake accounts for cartoon characters is officially okay, because that's fun. But it's not okay to do that for other non-human entities or famous people that don't actually use Twitter[4]
8. Sad/depressed/angry/satanic Tweets should be used sparingly
9. No complaining about people who Tweet too much. That's the point. It's fun

That's my take on things. Will somebody with influence keep an eye on Oprah and Ashton Kutcher?

Notes:

1. That means don't tweet every time you walk into a shop, eat something, or talk to your boss
2. Ahem, Mr. President
3. And that's only cool if you're in college and don't do it that often
4. Doug Funnie, cool. George Bush, lame